Spring Fling 2018 recap

It all started out so hopeful. On March 26, GWU Program Board announced the headliners for the [not highly] anticipated Spring Fling concert:

Lil Pump and Lil Yachty

Our eyes deceived us. You look at your friends and wonder if midterm sleep deprivation is causing sensory hallucinations, but it's true. You rejoiced, tagging everyone you know in the Facebook post, planning your outfit, writing posts praising the institution your normally bash. Comments on the announcement post included,

“This is why I pay the big bucks,"

“This is why I pay the big bucks,"

"Didn't y'all not let Action Bronson perform LOL"

Oh my god in heaven"

"Gucci gangggggggg"

The day arrived. Pregames ensued. There's a line at the gate before 5 p.m. Excited girls run to the front of the stage when they're let in and dance to the random DJ spinning tunes (even though Lil Pump isn't scheduled till 6:30 p.m., Yachty till 8 p.m.). Everything is golly and good. There's free tank tops to wear in 45 degree weather, and crappy Dominoes Pizza. We've made it.

Suddenly, chaos ensues. Rumors fly. Pump's not coming, Pump cancelled. Spring Fling memorabilia turns into snot rags. Just kidding, morale doesn't completely plummet, only slightly depletes, and the masses leave to go pregame more, and trash GWPB.

I reached out to multiple members of GWPB to find answers for the disgruntled masses. What happened to Pump? Are we getting some of our tuition money back? Reed Elman Waxham, Executive Vice Chair of GWPB wrote, "We have no comment at this time."

Great. Lovely. No Lil Pump, and no explanation. The hearts and faith of the people forever shattered.

At least we have Yachty, right? That's up to interpretation.

Lil Yachty, graciously moving around Pump's lack of appearance, was set to perform at 7:30 p.m. instead of 8 p.m. The crowd was wild and throngs of students were violent in motion. So much wobbling in fact, a security guard even grabbed me forcefully to save me from an impeding collapse of the barrier separating you animals from the stage. People reported bouts of nausea from the constant pushing (which had absolutely nothing to do with alcohol consumption). A sign read "LIL YACHTY FOR PRESIDENT". Encroaching upon 8 p.m, Lil Boat himself took the stage.

He began with his banger, "Revenge." Ironic? Telling of the revolution to come? Possibly. Yachty was enthusiastic yet superbly under-dressed in a green flannel and jeans, especially for someone who had just gifted 1/3 Migos 27k for his 27th birthday. I guess he probably had to start budgeting.

Anyways, the crowd loved him, nausea or not. The bangers continued: "Ice Tray," "Broccoli," "Wanna Be Us," "From the D to the A" and "Peek A Boo." He engaged with the crowd, his energy became our energy – a telltale romance. Water bottles were handed out (reasoning unclear) and the crowd was instructed to wait to unleash pent up angst until his next song started. Not sure why, but we loved it. Cold, but still, "that shit was fire." Not too long after, mid-song in fact, it all ended. Our happiness stripped from us as quickly as it had been doled out. Yachty dropped the mic, and ran off stage. The crowed rang out in confusion. They desperately tried to get him back by chanting his name. It was too late. He was in his sprinter already –he couldn't even hear our desperate pleas.

Yachty did not have a J-Biebs tantrum and storm off stage. His microphone was cut, and he dropped it in frustration. I refuse to let the good name of a revolutionary be tainted. He wanted to put on a good show for us. When I reached out to GWPB for an answer as to why our Spring Fling had to suck even more than it already did, I was graced again with, "We have no comment at this time."

So thanks, administration, GWPB, the patriarchy, capitalism – for dangling joy and goodness in front of our noses and snatching it away from us after not one mere hour of Lil Boat. In Overheard at GW, a voice of the people emerged to express general consensus: "Overseen at GW: Inability to put on a decent fucking show."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

This article is strictly opinion in nature.

Originally published on gw.therival.news by Gianna Arnaldy on 4.13.2018.

CultureGianna Arnaldy