Sorority girl claims to love twin littles equally, doesn't

FOGGY BOTTOM — Big-Little reveal, a staple Greek life tradition, is usually a custom that brings feelings of overwhelming #sisterlylove to its members. However, what happens when a “Big” unexpectedly adopts twins? Unfortunately, it seems to be a traumatic process, as one big on Friday reportedly revealed that she “doesn’t love” one of her “littles” “as much as the other.” The Big was very careful to keep her identity anonymous, claiming the news would be devastating to her sisterhood as well as her now obscenely large Greek family. The chapter president of the Big’s sorority declined to comment, declaring a state of emergency as glitter bombs detonated behind her. Campus news sources have been frantically requesting interviews with the Big who caused this alarming state of unrest.

In addition, allegations have come out that one of the littles, much like a toddler who begrudgingly receives a baby sister, requested to return her new twin. The Rival, being the independent and serious news source that we are, will continue to provide updates as the story of this harrowing family dynamic unfolds.